Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
