i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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