Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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