a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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