It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm getting married
To pizza
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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