you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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