Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize