how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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