K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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