Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
honey bunches of taint.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
