I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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