Will you blow on my dice?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Randomize
