do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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