i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Having a random hookup so left but love u
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
