Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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