Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
