I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
