I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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