a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think pants incapable of making pants work
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
