It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
