he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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