can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
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