If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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