I puked a lego.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
