i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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