i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
