The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.