I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it