You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
No subtext here. People are naked.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am one with the molecules
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
