His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
