plz talk dirty to me
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
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I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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