If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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