ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Randomize