apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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