Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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