So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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