Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
