Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
