This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize