How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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