Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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