real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
