i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
