I wish I could punch you in the face.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize