I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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