she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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