your thong is hanging out like whoa
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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