i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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