Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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