I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
