No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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