Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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