1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
