So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
