Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
