I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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