are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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