Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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